yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
