So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
