smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
