you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
