he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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