I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
