My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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