It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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