I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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