After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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