apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
