i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
