They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
