Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
