He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
