Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
is wine microwaveable?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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