fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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