I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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