There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
