If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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