My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
