his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
