u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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