So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think I just sharted jello shots
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
