Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
