My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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