I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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