I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
