My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize