I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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