i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
