and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
