Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
