the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
