i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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