It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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