so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
send nudes
from the living room?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
