I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
