yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think my moral compass just broke
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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