FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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