I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
