My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
what day is it and did you see me today?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
