She said her name was "party"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
