The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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