I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
