i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
