I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's never too late to be topless.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
