what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
