We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
