What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
